he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
