You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
