im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
