when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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