I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
