Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
