He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize