Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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