I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
wow bdsm is so cute
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
