And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
