O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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