Don't you send me to vm
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize