If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
