Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
