yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
