Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
