Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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