addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
pop tarts are not kleenex
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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