Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
