Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
