hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
