i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize