I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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