My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
