thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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