we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
