I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
