I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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