just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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