Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
