just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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