i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
