Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
