i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
