U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize