i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
