Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
