East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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