I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
a search helicopter?!
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
