WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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