For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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