I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
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He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize