Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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