God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
