fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
