Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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