If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
