Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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