I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she peed on how many people?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
