Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
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I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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