I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
