I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
