it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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