too bad you live with your parents still
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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