hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
