I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
