He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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