I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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