It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
