My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
