so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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