Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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