my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
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If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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